Life Lessons in the Subtle Art of Letting Go

I’ve always been someone who wants to please everyone, whether that be in terms of making plans or going along with something because it’s what everyone else wants to do. People pleaser. No two words have been so complicated and true with regard to my life than these two. I’ve realized that I’m too trusting of a person—and yes, it’s a bad thing. Recently, I’ve realized that there’s only a select number of people that I can trust completely. I told a few people of an event that occurred before the holiday break, an event that’s extremely personal. One of the girls I told let it slip, and it caused this whole ordeal. If being an overthinker wasn’t as bad before, it sure made life harder for me after this whole event happened. I don’t know why I care so much about what people think of me, but it seems to dominate every facet of my life. One of my best friends sent me a text message the next morning making me promise not to care or worry so much about what people think of me because “you are literally the most caring and nicest person ever…you worry so much about other people that it hurts you.” Actually seeing these words flash on my phone screen made me realize that I was changing who I was and what I wanted to please people and fit into their expectations. That’s no way to live my life. It truly was hurting me, making me fall into fits of sadness and self-doubt. So, this is why I’m writing this blog about this particular learning experience: it’s easy to say that I’m going to change and not care so much about other people’s opinions and perceptions of me, but it’s going to take some time to implement this new thought process into my life. I value friends like these who help me to come back to reality, who let me know that the way I was living wasn’t healthy for me. They’re 100 percent right. I really don’t know why people’s opinions of me means so much to me, but it’s time to let go of these thoughts and move forward. If I’m constantly caring about what others are doing and what they’re saying about me, then am I really making any true progress? That’s a trick question—the answer is no. Also, this raises another question: if I’m not being my true self, then how can I show anyone who I really am if I’m lying to myself? I’ve been so used to putting up a front, pretending that my life is all happy and care-free all the time, but that’s just not true. Everyone experiences lows in life, and it’s about understanding that we’re all human—we long for and need healthy interactions and relationships. I think in a crazed desire to achieve exactly this, I got lost in the abyss of societal pressures. I know this a little bit of a personal blog, but I think it’s relevant in so many people’s lives, especially mine. I know it’s hard to let go, but it's definitely needed. There’s a subtly in the art of letting go and not caring so much about what other people think, and I’m starting to discover how that fits into my life. It’s all about progress and learning, no matter how hard or complicated. It's my choice. My life.