Collective Joy vs. Collective Pain: Where's the Light?

I can’t describe the feeling of pure joy, the moment where it feels like I could be floating over my life and can’t come down from the high. But, the same thing can be said about pain, even though they are two completely different feelings and emotions. For my “Callings” class, I read a book titled, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown. In this book, she talks about the concepts of collective joy and collective pain. I hadn’t learned about these two ideas before, so it was interesting and thought-provoking to read about them from one of the most honest and real researchers. Brené Brown has spent over two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. Coming from someone who has experienced plenty of lows in her life, I appreciated everything she wrote about in this book, especially when it came to pleasing and pretending. Brown talks about how the concepts of collective joy and collective pain dominate our lives in multiple ways. For me, I see collective pain as a little bit more powerful because it takes true strength and courage to dig out of the hole called suffering. My collective pain came from a time where I felt unworthy, a time when I let obsessions dominate my perception of myself. I knew my situation was affecting my family and friends, but I couldn’t get myself to see the truth, pushing myself and those closest to me further into the darkness. But, there’s something to be said about finding the light in tough times. I physically screamed when I came across the section titled “Wands Up” in Brown’s book. This section touched upon the scene in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince where Dumbledore is killed by Draco Malfoy, a character who has strong ties to Lord Voldemort, the main villain throughout the series. Right when Brown starting talking about how Professor McGonagall and the rest of the students and professors raised their wands to overcome the Dark Mark, I got chills. It’s exactly as Brown said, “…We believe in the light. Yes, we know that Harry Potter is not real, but we know that collective light is real. And powerful….we were so much stronger together” (125). I think for me, it’s easier to believe that I can tackle any situation on my own—but when it comes down to it, we all need support and strength from others in order to get through some of the hardest times, especially during those moments of pure, collective pain. Even though Professor McGonagall started to break away at Lord Voldemort’s Dark Mark, it took a village of professors and students to fully make that mark vanish from the sky. We’re not alone in the fight against our demons, but we have to realize that we also need to tackle part of the struggle by ourselves. It's a two-way street between ourselves and the support from others. Brown also states in this book that “Our work is to get to the place where we like ourselves and are concerned when we judge ourselves too harshly or allow others to silence us. The wilderness demands this level of self-love and self-respect” (150). For me especially, it’s hard to not judge myself too harshly or not take things personally. Cultivating an image of self-love and self-worth has always been a challenge for me, especially because I’ve been swayed by what people expect of me. I let it get to a point where I took physical action to try to change myself. But if I keep letting these things get to me, then how does that affect my development? Well, it certainly makes it harder to positively grow. I keep asking myself why I let others get to me. In order for me to develop my strong back, I have to realize that standing up for myself isn’t a weakness, it’s what makes me strong and independent. As with anything, it’s going to be a process of developing a more confident and strong self. It’s true: I am the wilderness, and I am the only thing standing in my way.

The Secret Power of Imagination

Last week, we read and discussed the short story, “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty,” which was written by James Thurber and first published in The New Yorker on March 18, 1939. Just a little background on the short story: Walter Mitty is an aging man with a fascinating imagination that takes him to unimaginable places, making adventures in his mind out of his boring trip to town with his nagging wife. In between the hum-drum and repetitive tasks, Walter proves incompetent, but as he becomes more and more absent-minded, he transforms into a pilot, surgeon, defendant, and a gangster. It appears as though Walter Mitty has a mundane and boring life, but he’s transported by his larger than life imagination, making him seem more interesting and sensational than he really is. One thing I found to be extremely eye-opening about this story is the complete contrast that’s shown throughout it—this story highlights inversion in the sense that the exact opposite is shown through Walter’s fantasies, symbolizing the utter contrast. What I got out of this particular class and the story is that one of the most striking characteristics of Walter Mitty’s fantasies is their silliness, which may be heroic but only melodramatically. From the fountain pen Mitty uses to replace a piston during his surgery to the beautiful woman who appears in his arms, his fantasies contain events and elements that couldn’t possibly happen in reality. For me, it seems as though Thurber’s humor undermines Mitty even further because he’s so pathetically far from having the skills he dreams of having in that his fantasies don’t even make much sense. There’s a sense of nostalgia in this story for me because it takes me back to my childhood where I would pretend to be someone else with extraordinary powers and abilities. The importance of this short story is that his secret life is what gives him depth—the lighthearted and humorous tone of his fantasies is what makes both sides of his character sympathetic. Imagination is what gives us life and is the backbone for escaping the mundane and dreariness of reality. I think it’s safe to say that within all of us lies a hidden power, which could be one thing you need to bring about some of your greatest successes. Everyone possesses a certain degree of imagination ability, and it manifests itself in various degrees in various people. In some, it’s highly developed, and in others, it’s in a weaker form. Imagination makes it possible to experience a whole world inside the mind and to explore the depths of “what ifs.” Mitty’s power lies in his daydreaming, making him somewhat impractical yet creative. I don’t see imagination as a weakness, rather a strength. The more I sat and reflected on this particular class, the more I realized that imagination is what brings life to some of the most darkest or clouded of times. For me, I can escape reality with a good book or movie, diving into the character’s lives and the complex plots. Without imagination, J.K. Rowling wouldn’t have created or brought to life the Harry Potter series, one of my absolute all-time favorites. For it’s with imagination that we come to express ourselves and display our creativeness. Anything that comes out of our minds and onto paper can be defined as imagination in some way or another. My imagination is what makes me unique. It’s what makes all of us unique and brings simple things to life. How boring would this world be without the imaginations of the people around us? Think about that…

Nature versus Nurture: The Continuous Developmental Debate

I’m a psychology minor, and throughout my career in this department, I’ve seen a persistent concept that continues to show up time and time again: the nature versus nurture debate. You’re probably wondering why I would write about something like this—why is it important? Well, it’s the concept regarding whether or not development is primarily influenced by nature (i.e., heredity, biology, genetic makeup, and how that’s expressed in our phenotypes) or nurture (i.e., environment and surrounding social contexts). Nature is what we think of as pre-wiring and is influenced by genetic inheritance and other biological factors. Nurture is generally taken as the influence of external factors after conception (e.g., the product of exposure, life experiences and learning on an individual). There are some proponents that believe in the biological side having more influence in shaping our development throughout the lifespan, and these individuals are nativists (i.e., those who believe that most of our skills, etc. are innate and hard-wired in our brains before birth). The proponents who believe the opposite are called empiricists. The truth of the matter is that our development is the direct result of both biological and environmental circumstances. Just because a father has an athletic ability doesn’t mean that his kid will be the same way—it’s about how our genes and environment correlate and interact with one another throughout our lifespan to shape these behaviors, responses, skills, etc. Several studies done on twins separated shortly after birth reveal that genetics does play a significant role in the development of certain personality characteristics, sexual orientation, and religious affiliations. The bond between identical twins was also suggested to be genetic by these studies, as 80 percent of identical twins reported that they felt closer to their twin than they did to their closest friends, despite having just met their twin, thereby signaling the bond between these individuals. One study also suggested that genetics plays a significant role in the development of personality: environment had little effect on personality when twins were raised together, though it did have an effect when they were raised apart. All of this information is particularly interesting to me when I apply it to my own life. Even though I’m not an identical twin, I still do see relationships and connections to this concept. I have a different personality than my twin brother, but we were also reared in similar ways. We have different genes and biologies, but when it came to child rearing and growing up, we were much better off than children who grew up in disadvantaged environments (e.g., poverty, maltreatment, trauma, parental depression, etc.). My brother is more musically-inclined than I am, and I'm more athletically-inclined than he is. We all need to consider both aspects in order to form an accurate and relevant understanding of how we develop—yes, the different genes we have wire us for specific personalities and temperaments, but how we were raised and the environments we are exposed to play an equal role in determining our future outcomes and developmental patterns. Looking back at how I was raised and how far I’ve come, it’s interesting to see how these concepts have played a role in my own life. There are huge individual differences when it comes to this concept, and it’s important to know that we’re all unique and marked with our own combination of biology and environment.